Lanval by Marie de France, 1160; p 104-120

 

Lanval was written by an empowering woman who was more focused on creating change than a personal legacy; little is known about Marie de France, and I admire this about her! In this tale, we find a female heroine setting the demands for her relationship and taking charge when she creates the standard of secrecy for Lanval which turns the relationship conditional. Drawing back on that theme of a health, modern, traditional relationship, it is important to note that individuality of love here. By setting boundaries, the beautiful Lady of this story sets an elegant example of how we should approach love as independent women rather than as slaves to the male sex. Another point worth noting from the except below, in which standards are set and roles are assigned within the couple’s relationship, Lanval expresses vulnerability (contradicting toxic masculinity):

“He looked at her, and saw she was beautiful;

love stings him with a spark

that lights and inflames his heart.

He replies to her becomingly.

‘Beautiful one,’ he says, ‘if it pleased you

that such joy should come to me

that you should wish to love me,

you could command nothing

that I would not do to the best of my power,

be it folly or wisdom.

I will do what you command;

for you I will give up everyone.

I never wish to part from you:

this is what I most desire.’

…

‘Friend,’ she says, ‘now I warn you,

I command and beg you,

tell no one about this!

I will tell you the whole truth:

you would lose me forever

if this love were known;

you could never see me again

or have possession of my body.’

He replies that he will certainly hold to

what she commands.” (Lines 117-130… 143-152)